


The World Falls Away

by DemonPoxHerondale



Category: What If It's Us - Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera
Genre: College graduation, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 13:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16347692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonPoxHerondale/pseuds/DemonPoxHerondale
Summary: Arthur just graduated college, and Ben's graduation is coming up. Despite texting all the time, they haven't seen each other in five years, and they miss each other a lot. What will happen when Arthur gets the idea to surprise Ben at his graduation?





	1. Chapter 1

ARTHUR

It's been a week since I graduated from Wesleyan, and I flew back to Milton with my family a couple days ago. I've just hung up from a FaceTime call with Ben, and I'm thinking about an idea that's been stirring in the back of my mind. I've been telling the little voice to shut up, but it won't listen. So here I am, trying to decide if it's a bad idea to surprise Ben by showing up at his graduation. It's next weekend, and most of me wants to go. But the rest of me is hesitant. Ben and I still haven't been in the same state since that summer, and even though we're both still single, and a lot of our conversations might dip into the realm of flirty, it kind of seems like a big thing to spring on him.

But I'm pretty sure he still likes me (as more than a friend). And I know I still like him. I had a couple brief relationships throughout college, including a slightly lengthier one with a boy named Carson from my theater elective junior year, but even that one only lasted four months until I broke it off because I just didn't see us going anywhere. Ben, on the other hand, hasn't dated at all. I know he's kissed a few boys, but mostly just at parties while drunk, and he always tells me about it the next day, scrunching up his nose and saying how he wishes anything could last.

I know it would probably be a bad idea to show up unannounced if I don't intend for it to be anything more than a platonic visit and if I plan to leave back to Georgia right away. If we see each other in person, we won't be able to resist kissing and probably more, and it isn't fair to him to do that if we're just going to have to break up again. But. I haven't found a job yet, and I could look in New York instead of Georgia. My mom flies up there frequently for work, so it's not like I'd stop seeing my family. And neither Ethan nor Jessie live in Milton anymore. Ethan decided to rent an apartment with a few college friends in Virginia, and Jessie is going to graduate school abroad, with a program from Brown.

It's crazy that it's an actual possibility now that I could move to New York and get back together with Ben. But maybe this is all a bad idea. Maybe Ben and I really are better off as friends, and we just haven't found the right person yet. I mean, these last few years he's been the number one person I could count on, and I don't want to lose that. But the more I think about it, the more I want to give us another shot.

 

BEN

I can't believe I graduate college in a week. I don't think I ever really believed I could do it, and now here I am. It was rough, and classes were hard, and there were countless all-nighters to study, but here I am. I finished my last final a couple hours ago and there's nothing left to do. No more studying, no more textbooks, no more lectures. It's all over, and in a week I'll be given a diploma. I'm not really sure where I go from here, though. I'm moving back in with my parents for now, and don't have a job besides part-time at Dream and Bean. I’m starting full-time in a few weeks, but it's not really something to look forward to. I guess I always assumed that if I made it to college, I'd get a good job afterwards, but that's not how the world works. Not for English majors, at least. So Dream and Bean it is, as I continue my latest novel and hope that I can manage to publish one eventually. I’ve written a sequel to  _ The Wicked Wizard War  _ on WattPad, and it has nearly one hundred thousand reads. I also posted another fantasy story, and I’m currently working on a sequel to that one. Arthur tells me I should focus on editing the first and trying to find a publisher, but I want to finish this one first.

It feels so weird to be out of college and starting a real life. Like everything up until this point has just been in preparation. I've also got a mountain of student loans to pay back, and I'm mostly broke. But I’m gonna believe the universe has a plan for me and that it’s all going to work itself out.

Dylan and Samantha graduate today, and I wish I could have been there, but I had to take my last final. They’re coming back to New York for my graduation, though, and I can’t wait to see them. It’s been way too long. They’re actually moving back to the area for good, and I couldn’t be happier. I was worried they’d decide to stay in Illinois, since they loved it there, but Dylan says he can’t imagine living anywhere but New York for the long-term. It also helps that Samantha got a job offer from a software design company in the middle of the city. If you’d told sixteen-year-old Ben that Dylan’s relationship with Samantha would last this long, he would have laughed in your face. But here we are, five years later, and they are still completely in love.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a little jealous. I haven’t had any relationships since Arthur. I’ve hooked up with people at parties more than a few times, but never with feelings attached and never with any acknowledgement when we’re sober the next day. I keep trying to push down any feelings for Arthur that are still lingering. It's hard, because we broke up for distance, not because of any problems or lack of love. So the feelings never really went away. I don't know how I can successfully have a relationship unless I can stop feeling anything but platonic love for Arthur. His few relationships may not have worked out, but at least he had them. Aside from missing him, I just miss being in a relationship. Maybe it would have been easier if we'd just stopped talking when he left, but I wouldn't trade our friendship for anything. Well, anything except having more than a friendship.

 

ARTHUR

I think I'm gonna do it. No, I can't do it. I need to talk to someone about this. I FaceTime Ethan, and he answers right away.

I blurt it right out: “I want to surprise Ben by showing up to his graduation. Is that a bad idea?”

“Woah. You haven't seen him in five years; do you think you should maybe talk to him first? Also, doesn't it seem kinda cruel to show up just for that when you'll just have to separate again?” Ethan says.

“But what if we didn't have to?” I ask.

“Are you suggesting that you move to New York?”

“I'm thinking about it,” I admit.

“Wow, okay, that's big,” Ethan says. “But if you're gonna do a big thing like move a thousand miles, I guess now's a pretty good time. But I still feel like maybe springing that on him on his big day might not be the best idea.”

“Maybe, but I kind of really want to surprise him.”

“Honestly, I'm sure he'd be thrilled. He still loves you.”

“You think?”

Ethan laughs. “Is that even a question?”

 

BEN

Dylan and Samantha are on a flight back to New York, so I'm headed to the airport to meet them. The friends I've made at college just aren't the same, and neither are Hudson and Harriett. We still talk sometimes, but we've been drifting farther and farther apart as time goes on. Meanwhile, Dylan and I are somehow as close as ever, despite living in different states for the last four years. And I'm basically as close with Samantha as I am with Dylan at this point. 

I get to the airport half an hour before the flight is scheduled to arrive, so I spend the time replying to comments on WattPad. When I started posting, I tried to reply to every single one. That isn’t possible at this point, but I still do my best to answer as many people as I can. Before I know it, the sign with flight information has changed to show that their flight has arrived.

I stand up to wait for them. I made a cheesy sign, because what can I say, I’m just that kind of person. A few minutes later, I see them come around the corner. Samantha sees me first and nudges Dylan’s arm to point me out. He breaks out into a grin when he sees me and the sign, and barrels toward me, practically knocking me over with his hug. I squeeze him right back.

“Ben, I am a  _ college graduate _ ,” he says when he finally pulls back. “I kicked college in the ass and now I have a degree and I’m ready for some serious adulting.”

Samantha laughs, walking up behind him. “What an adult sentence, Dyl. You’re ready for the world.”

“But is the world ready for me, is the question.”

I’ve missed him so much. “Dylan, I don’t think it’s possible for the world to be prepared for everything that you are.”

He grins. “Oh, I know.”

I smile back and then turn to Samantha. “Anyway, hi,” I say.

“Hi,” she replies, stepping forward and hugging me tightly. “And in just four days, you’ll be a college graduate, too.”

 

ARTHUR

Jessie thinks my idea is amazing. She is firmly in favor of me just going for it. Ethan still thinks I should talk to Ben first. But really, the surprise is a very important part of this plan. I need to talk to someone closer to Ben. So I send Dylan a text. We’ve stayed friendly with each other, even though we don’t talk much.

**Hey Dylan, congrats on graduating! I want to talk about something with you, can you FaceTime?** I write.

Less than a minute later, I get a response.  **Thanks! Samantha’s with me is that okay**

**Yeah thats fine**

He calls and I pick up, his face filling the screen. “Hi Dylan, hi Samantha!” He adjusts the phone so I can see both of them.

“Hi,” Dylan says, and Samantha waves. “So what’s up? Not used to requests to FaceTime you, well, ever.”

“I know, but I need advice on this idea I have. Because Jessie is all for it, but Ethan says no.”

“Slow down, you haven’t even told us what you’re talking about yet,” Dylan says.

“Right, sorry. So would it be a terrible idea to just show up at Ben’s graduation?” I rush on before they can respond. “And yes I know it’s cruel to do that and then leave again, but I don’t have a job yet and it is an actual possibility that I could look for one in New York. But is that not something he would want?” Samantha and Dylan are staring at me. “Guys?”

“Hold on, you want to move to New York?”

“Yes? I know he told me not to go to college there just for him, and I didn’t because Wesleyan was the right fit, but now college is over, and it’s time to figure out where I want to start the rest of my life, and I kind of want it to be there. With him. If that would be okay with him.”

“Well,” Dylan starts. “I mean he would probably love that. And I’m all for surprises. It’s just . . . is the showing up at graduation the surprise and then you’d talk about the moving to New York part, or is it a package deal, like, ‘Surprise, Ben! I haven’t seen you in five years, but here I am! I’m moving to New York!’ Because that’s kind of a big thing.”

“I agree,” Samantha says. “It’s a nice idea, and maybe the surprise at graduation is okay, but this really needs to be a conversation you have with Ben.”

“Okay. But you think showing up unannounced is okay?” I ask.

“I don’t know,” Samantha says. “It’s his big day, and then for this to just happen--”

“WAIT,” Dylan interrupts. “I have the  _ perfect _ idea.”


	2. Chapter 2

BEN

I graduate tomorrow. I’ve been spending the last few days packing up my dorm room, and Dylan and Samantha have been with me almost constantly. We’re trying to make up for lost time. We visit all our old favorite places, and in a lot of ways it’s like no time has passed at all. Right now we’re sitting in Dylan’s apartment, watching  _ Titanic _ . I have to leave for my shift at work in about an hour, and Dylan and Samantha have been acting really weird all day. They keep glancing at each other, or nudging each other, and they seem to be having whole conversations with their eyes. I kind of want to ask them about it, but whatever it is, they clearly don’t want to talk about it. After another fidgety hour, I swing my bag over my shoulder and head to the door.

“See you guys later.”

“Have fun at work!” Dylan says in this weird voice, and Samantha giggles and shoves him.

“Yeah, okay, bye,” I say, opening the door.

Fifteen minutes later, I clock in at work, and immediately notice that all the employees are acting just as weird around me. 

“What is everyone’s deal today?” I grumble to my coworker Amanda as we make drinks side by side.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she says, quickly turning to call out the name on her cup. I shake my head and take the next customer’s order.

I try to get lost in the rhythm of work, but it’s hard when everyone is being so  _ strange. _ A few minutes later I fill an order for one of my regulars, Dean, and decide to take it over to him. He’s a year younger than me and goes to NYU, and he’s kinda cute. I also think he’s bi, but I’m not sure. I know I can’t force myself to have feelings for someone, but I’m beginning to wish I could.

I walk over and put his coffee down in front of him. He looks up and pulls one earbud out. “Thanks. And hey, why is your face on the wall?”

“What?”

“Your face. It’s on the wall.” He points behind me. And holy shit. This is some serious deja vu. Because on the bulletin board is a piece of paper with a blown up picture of me. The same picture from all those years ago. It reads:

**Are you the boy from that summer?**

_ I know it’s been forever since I saw you, and I can’t believe I’m doing this again, but here we go. _

_ We spent the best summer of my life together. I was the awkward boy from Georgia, and you were the adorable boy who’d lived here all his life. Wish we hadn’t had to say goodbye. Want to give me a second chance? I’ll be at your graduation on Saturday. Hope to see you there. _

I can’t breathe. My heart is pounding in my throat and I don’t even know what to think. Holy shit. Arthur is in New York right now. And he’s coming to my graduation. 

I glance back at the counter, and the entire staff has stopped work and is just watching me.

I yank the paper off the wall. “Okay yeah, I need to go. Someone can cover my shift.” I pull my apron over my head and shove it at Amanda. Kyle hands me my bag.

“Good luck, man,” he says. “Your boy came in here earlier to hang that up, and we all kind of lost it.”

“This is honestly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” Amanda says. “Go get him.”

 

ARTHUR

I’ve been pacing restlessly around my hotel room for the last hour. Ever since Dylan texted to tell me Ben left for work. I don’t even know if I’m expecting a text, or a call, or nothing. I didn’t exactly ask for one, I just said I’d see him at graduation. I seriously need to chill. Dylan promised to keep me posted on everything that happens, and I trust him to, but I’m still an anxious mess. What if he’s mad? What if he doesn’t want to see me? Dylan and Samantha insist he will, and I want to believe he will, but I can’t help but worry.

I just need to stop thinking about this. But Ben is all I want to think about, so I open up WattPad to reread  _ TWWW  _ for the thousandth time. Nothing like Ben-Jamin and King Arturo to convince me that it’ll all be okay.

 

BEN

I bang on the door of Dylan’s apartment, pounding with my fist until it swings open and I nearly punch him in the face.

“Woah, Ben, I take it you found it?”

I shove the paper at him. I don’t know why I’m such a disaster right now. My heart is still beating way faster than normal, and my mind is racing.

“Okay, Big Ben, come sit down.”

I collapse next to Samantha on the couch. “Did you guys help plan this, or did you just know about it?”

Dylan clears his throat. “I want to say it was my idea, but you seem kind of angry right now, so I’ll say it was all Samantha.”

“I’m not angry!” I exclaim, at the same time that Samantha says, “Hey!”

“I’m not,” I insist. “It’s just kind of a shock.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Dylan says. “I figured a shock now would be better than a shock tomorrow. And Arthur was really set on the shock factor. Also, this idea just seemed adorable.”

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Samantha reaches around me to rub my back.

“It’s. . . it is adorable. He’s adorable. But we’ve talked about meeting up before, and I just think it’s better not to start anything again when we both know it can’t last.”

Samantha nods, and then glances at Dylan. “But what if it could? I mean, you really want to see him, right?”

“Of course I do. But what do you mean, what if it could last? He’s just gonna go back to Georgia in a couple days. It’s just gonna hurt worse to spend some time together in person. Except now he’s here, and I don’t know if I have the self control to not see him. Plus, he came all this way. It feels rude to tell him to leave.”

“I think you should give him a chance. Talk to him,” Samantha says.

“Am I supposed to text him or just see him in person tomorrow?”

“What do you want to do?”

“What does  _ he _ want me to do?”

“He wants you to do whatever you want to do.”

“That doesn’t really help.”

“Are you okay with just seeing him tomorrow after you graduate?” Samantha asks. “That was his original plan. To just show up. But then Dyl thought of the poster, and Arthur loved it right away. Anyway, if you’d rather talk first, I’m sure you can just call him.”

“There’s definitely still something you’re not telling me,” I say. “But that’s fine, I’m not gonna ask you to tell me anything he told you not to tell. I’m gonna decide to trust you guys and just see him tomorrow. I better not regret this.”

“I don’t think you will,” Dylan says.


	3. Chapter 3

ARTHUR

Graduations are long. And boring. Even my own was boring, but other people’s are extra boring. Especially when you just want it to end so you can see your ex(hopefully not for long)-boyfriend in person for the first time in five years.

I’m sitting next to Dylan in a row with him, Samantha, and Ben’s parents, as students and guest speakers give speech after speech. Finally they get to the names. And unlike at my graduation, I don’t have to wait for almost everyone to go before me. Ben is the twelfth name on the list. My heart leaps as the professor reads his name, and we all whoop, even though we were told not to. He walks up onto the stage, and his features are blurry from this distance, but I know he’s grinning as he accepts his diploma and walks back to his seat. I’m sure he’s as nervous as I am right now. I mean, it’s crazy, because we’re best friends, and we have been talking and FaceTiming all the time over the last years. And yet as the last name is read and everyone cheers and throws their hats in the air, I feel like I’m gonna throw up.

I’m still sitting as Dylan and Samantha jump up. Dylan looks down at me and then grabs my arm and pulls. When I don’t move, Samantha grabs the other arm and they yank me to my feet.

Ben’s parents follow us as we push our way through the crowd, looking for Ben. It’s a madhouse, people running every which way, hugs, kisses, tears, yells.

“There he is!” Samantha yells, pointing across the field. I stop walking.

“You guys go first, and I’ll wait here.” It suddenly feels wrong to be intruding on this big moment.

“Don’t be ridiculous--” Dylan starts, but Samantha cuts him off.

“No, he’s right. Parents first, then us, then Arthur can go. I have a feeling once they’re together we won’t be able to get his attention back for the rest of the night.”

“Fair enough,” Dylan says, and Ben’s parents move toward him.

I don’t want him to see me just yet. There’s a little pavilion a little ways away, where the crowd is thinner. “Tell him I’m over there,” I say, pointing.

“Okay.” Samantha nods, and hugs me. “We’re rooting for you.” Dylan gives me a quick hug too, and they set off after Ben’s parents. 

 

BEN

It’s official. I’m a college graduate. A college graduate with no plan for the future besides a full-time job at a coffee shop, but a college graduate nonetheless. My parents find me in the crowd, and wrap me in a tight group hug. Ma is crying, and even Pa’s eyes are damp. The tears are contagious, and we’re clinging to each other as we wait for them to slow.

“I’m so proud of you,” Ma gushes, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“So am I,” Pa says, and really so am I. I’m trying to focus on their words but it’s hard not to be scanning the crowd for a certain boy.

“BEN!” Dylan crashes into me. Okay, so not this boy, but Dylan is good, too. “You fucking did it!”

I laugh.

“Get those tears off your face, this is a happy day.”

“These are happy tears!”

“Well get rid of them, whatever they are, and get in a picture with your parents,” Dylan says, and Samantha whips out her phone.

It’s a whole photo shoot, with every combination of us. A couple college friends come up, and get in the pictures. And then their parents want pictures too.

Samantha senses how antsy I am, and leans toward me. “He’s over in the pavillion. He wanted you to have this moment first.”

I nod, but as soon as I know where he is, I have to be there. I don’t physically think I can stand here any longer. It’s like I’m being pulled.

“I love you guys, and I’ll see you later,” I say.

“Go get him!” Dylan says, giving me a playful shove in the right direction.

So I go.

 

ARTHUR

I wait for what feels like hours until I see him approaching. I stop pacing and watch him. I can see Dylan, Samantha, and his parents farther in the distance watching him. And then Ben makes eye contact with me, and the world falls away.

 

BEN

Our eyes meet when I'm still at least thirty feet away, but the world falls away, and he's the only thing I can see. I start running and he just stares for a moment, before he starts running too. We meet in the middle, slamming into each other and wrapping each other in our arms. He's a few inches taller than we was before, but he's warm, and familiar, and I melt into his embrace. I bury my face in his hair and breathe him in, and he presses his forehead into my shoulder.

This was a mistake.

I yank myself away and force myself to take a few steps back. He looks up at me, hurt in his eyes.

“How am I supposed to say goodbye now?” I ask, and my voice breaks. “I'm just. . . I missed you so much. I missed this so much. I know I'm supposed to just like you platonically, but I can't. Five years since I've seen you and I can't. And now you come here and bring it all back to the surface when you're just going to rip it away again. I don't know why I decided to meet you here.”

He takes a step closer, and reaches for my hand. And because I have no self control, I let him take it.

“What if I don't have to leave?” He whispers, and my heart jumps. “I don't have a job or anything set up yet. What if I moved here?”

My heart is pounding again. “I don't want you to uproot your life just for me,” I say carefully. “We talked about this with college, and you picked what was right for you.”

“And I don't regret that. I loved Wesleyan. But now I have the chance to decide where I want to start a life. And that's here, with you, if you want me.”

I can't believe this is really happening. Arthur is here, at my college graduation, telling me he wants to move to New York for me. I don't trust myself to speak.

“If you feel guilty about me doing this just for you, it might help to know I love New York, and I've missed the city too these past years. And there's way more job opportunities here than in Georgia. Plus, there's less homophobia here.”

“There's still homophobia here,” I manage.

“That's not really the point.”

“I know, but--”

“Ben, what do you want?”

I look at him. Watching me expectantly with his blue, blue eyes. Wearing a button down shirt and the fucking hot dog tie. Arthur, who left a poster on the wall five years ago to find me, and did it again this weekend to reconnect. Arthur, the only person I can imagine a future with.

“You. I want you.” And then he's kissing me, and it's everything I've wanted for the last five years. He slides his hands into my hair and whispers against my mouth.

“I love you, Ben Hugo Alejo.” I shudder against him.

 

ARTHUR

We’re pressed tightly against each other, breathing each other in. I am so, so glad I came. Ben pulls back to breathe, and rests his forehead against mine. I smile at him, and he smiles back.

“Do you have plans, or do you want to come back to my hotel?” I ask.

Ben makes a face, freckles shifting across his nose. “I have plans to go out to lunch with Ma and Pa and Dylan and Samantha. But I’d much rather go with you.”

I kiss him briefly. “That’s okay, we can meet back up later if you want.”

“I want,” he says. “Although, actually, do you want to come to lunch?”

“I would love to.”

Ben kisses me one more time before taking my hand and leading me back over to his family and friends. Dylan high fives him as we rejoin the group.

“Arthur is joining us for lunch,” Ben announces, squeezing my hand, and I squeeze back.

“Awesome,” Dylan says. “Let’s go.”

We eat at a small family-owned place a few blocks away. It’s crowded, and we have to squeeze into a booth meant for four. Not that I’m complaining, because it means Ben is pressed against my side.

Everyone avoids asking us the serious questions, which I appreciate. They know we haven’t had time to talk about it yet, but I’m sure they’ll start coming soon enough. Hopefully by then, we’ll be ready to answer them.

After we eat, Dylan suggests that the four of us hang out around the city, but Ben glances at me before turning them down. We agree to meet up the next day, and then we head out. Ben says goodbye to his parents, and then we catch a cab back to my hotel.

As soon as we’re through the door, he presses me against the wall, sliding his fingers under my shirt and his tongue into my mouth. I moan and kiss him back just as fiercely.  



	4. Chapter 4

BEN

I wake up wrapped around Arthur, who’s still asleep, his breaths even against my bare shoulder. I trail a finger down his arm, and he yawns and stretches, blinking sleepily up at me.

“What time is it?”

I roll over to check the clock. “Nine AM.”

He yawns again and cuddles closer to me. “We should probably talk.”

“Yeah,” I agree.

“I don’t want to have to leave you again. I know that for sure,” Arthur says.

“And I don’t want you to. But I want you to be sure this is what you want. Georgia is where you’ve lived all your life. Are you sure you want to make such a big change?” I need to be sure he’s sure.

“This is what I want. My mom is up here all the time for work, so it’s not like I’d never get to see my family. And Ethan and Jessie aren’t in Milton anymore, either.” He sounds like he’s put a lot of thought into this, but I still can’t help but feel that I’m pulling him into something too extreme. Even if this whole thing was his idea in the first place. “I mean it, Ben,” he adds, sensing my hesitation. “I want to do this.”

“Okay,” I say.

“Okay? That’s it?”

“I love you, Arthur, and I want this more than you can imagine.”

“Better.”

“It’s the truth,” I say, and I pull him toward me again.

We're quiet for a moment. 

“So just to clarify, you are moving to New York,” I confirm.

“I am moving to New York,” Arthur verifies.

“Wow.”

“Wow is right. However, it's gonna take me a while to find an apartment and arrange all the moving stuff. Oh, and also to talk to my parents.”

“You haven't talked to your parents!?”

“Not yet,” he says. “They won't be thrilled, but they'll have to let me go.”

“Arthur, are you sure this is a good idea?” It seems a little reckless, but then again this is Arthur.

“I'm completely sure. Trust me, Ben. You're worth it.” He reaches up to trace my freckles, and a warm, fuzzy feelings spreads out from my chest. I don't know exactly what's going to happen next, but I know we'll be together for it. And that's what matters.


	5. Epilogue

ARTHUR 

We meet Dylan and Samantha at the karaoke place that afternoon. I'm leaving the day after tomorrow, and even though this time I know I'll be back, we still want to make the most of the time we have.

Dylan and Samantha go first, signing a duet from some movie I've never heard of. We mostly switch back and forth between the two of them and the two of us, but we also do a couple group songs. I sing “Ben” again for old times sake, and Samantha and I do a duet. It's all perfect and this is the kind of life I could get used to. This is the life I'll have one day soon.

 

BEN 

When we have the room booked for only a few more minutes, Arthur pulls me onto the tiny stage one last time.

“What are we singing?” I ask, but he doesn't answer, just pulls up a track, hits play, and starts to sing.

 _“I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you_ _  
_ _I don't need you to search for the proof that I should_ _  
_ _You don't have to convince me_ _  
_ _You don't have to be scared you're not enough_ _  
_ _'Cause what we've got going is good_ _  
_ _I don't need more reminders of all that's been broken_ _  
_ _I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget_ _  
_ _Clear the slate and start over_ _  
_ _Try to quiet the noises in your head_ _  
_ _We can't compete with all that_ _  
_ _So what if it's us?_ _  
_ _What if it's us_ _  
_ _And only us_ _  
_ _And what came before won't count anymore or matter?_ _  
_ _Can we try that?_ _  
_ _What if it's you_ _  
_ _And what if it's me_ _  
_ _And what if that's all that we need it to be_ _  
_ _And the rest of the world falls away?_   
What do you say?”

I join in, eyes damp.

 _  
_ _“I never thought there'd be someone like you who would want me”_

 _  
_ _“Well”_

 _  
_ _“So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go_ _  
_ _But if you really see me_ _  
_ _If you like me for me and nothing else_ _  
_ _Well, that's all that I've wanted for longer that you could possibly know_ _  
_ _So it can be us_ _  
_ _It can be us_ _  
_ _And only us_ _  
_ _And what came before won't count anymore or matter_   
We can try that”

Our voices join together, and he reaches for my hand.

 _  
_ _“It's not so impossible_ _  
_ _Nobody else but the two of us here_ _  
_ _'Cause you're saying it's possible_ _  
_ _We can just watch the whole world disappear_ _  
_ _'Til you're the only one_ _  
_ _I still know how to see_ _  
_ _It's just you and me_ _  
_ _It'll be us, It'll be us_ _  
_ _And only us_ _  
_ _And what came before won't count anymore_ _  
_ _We can try that_ _  
_ _You and me_ _  
_ _That's all that we need it to be_ _  
_ _And the rest of the world falls away_ _  
_ _And the rest of the world falls away_ _  
_ _The world falls away_ _  
_ _The world falls away_   
And it's only us”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I finished What if It's Us a couple days ago and loved it, but the ending made me little upset, so I just had to write this. I hope you enjoyed! Please leave a comment and let me know what you thought.
> 
> All characters belong to Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera, and title and song are from Dear Evan Hansen, which if you haven't listened to you need to go check out.


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